Over the Hill?

Two weeks from now it is going to happen to me. It has happened to a lot of my friends this year already. Is it going to be a life changing event? I don't think so. I am just turning 40. When I was twenty, I believed that 40 was old. Really old. Now that I am almost there, I realize that the only thing that really changes as you get older is your body. I still feel like the same person as that 20 year old. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I feel like there must be some mistake, who is that woman with wrinkles forming around her eyes and (yuck) sun damage (ok age spots)? It is like a Disney movie and I am a teenager trapped inside the body of a 40 year old.

My teenager came home from school last week to find me cranking the ipod and dancing around to The Black Eyed Peas. He told me to stop trying to act young. (This from a 14 year old who acts 90). I explained to him that I was not playing hip music to try to impress him. I was having fun, in fact I had been listening to the ipod all day. I told him that someday when he was old he would get it. I have tried to impress upon him that for all we know this life is all we get. You might as well make the most of every single moment.

Although I am the same person some things have changed. When I was 20 I thought I was fat even though I weighed less than 120lbs. I would like to smack that 20 year old me. I tell a lot of my young friends to love their bodies now, because it doesn't get better. You may lose wieght, but the firmness and smooth skin changes over the years. So even now I tell myself to love my 40 year old body, because it isn't going to get better. Someday I will look back and long for what I have now. I am also a lot more confident than I was in my younger years. I would always worry about what people thought of me and held back so I wouldn't look stupid. Now I don't really care. When I was 26 my sister in law told me I was too old to have long hair. I liked my long hair. I liked wearing a high ponytail and french braids. I didn't really think I was too old to have long hair, but I listened to Suzanne and cut my hair into a bob. I hated it. I have been trying to get my hair back to that length ever since. It isn't as long as it was then, but it is long. Sometimes I even wear it in a low side pony tail with a flower in it. Like I said, I don't care what other people think, I like it.

When I turned 30, I got a tattoo. It wasn't something I had always wanted to do, but it felt right at the time. I still like my tattoo, but I don't see myself marking this decade with another one. How will I remember my 30s? My children have grown from toddlers to teens and tweens. With the growth of our kids, Joe and I have regained some freedom too. Being able to leave the kids without calling a sitter allows us to go on dates and have nights out with friends. The next decade will bring even more change with the kids driving, dating and going off to college.

Although I can't say I am looking forward to getting older, I will still enjoy the moments and never act my age.