Cheers

It is nice to know that even at 40 there are still some firsts to experience. This weekend I had my first ever birthday party. As the youngest of five children, my parents were done with parties by the time I came around. It is ok, there were some benefits to being the youngest. For all of my older sisters 40th birthday's we got together to celebrate. Everyone wanted to know what I wanted to do. I decided that I wanted a party.

Joe had wanted to throw me a party for my 30th birthday, but at the time I really didn't have a circle of friends. The kids were little and they were pretty much my whole life. Being a mother to toddlers can be very isolating. You might meet some nice moms on the playground, but for me they never lead to a lasting friendship. I pretty much had to beg him not to throw me a party that year. This time it was different. Over the past several years, through family, work, and the kids sports I have been fortunate to meet some wonderful people who I am lucky to call my friends.

On the way to the party I started having a panic attack. I don't like being the center of attention (contrary to what some people might think). I knew that when we walked through the door all eyes would be on me. I was worried that no one would be there. I was also thinking about singing karaoke in front of everyone I know. It is different doing it in front of strangers. Joe had asked the DJ (who was awesome) to have the karaoke available. I love to sing. I sing all the time-in the car, in the kitchen and at work I find myself humming all day long. I had chosen a song that I was comfortable with. I practiced-maybe even too much as my voice was going in and out all night. My friend Tina went first and was awesome- she sounded like a pro. Her doing so well gave me confidence. But what happened when I took the mike and started to sing Before He Cheats was less like singing and more like sounds from a frog dying. It was seriously bad. So much for impressing everyone with my talent-I had just humiliated myself in front of everyone.

No one followed my performance. I guess they didn't want to take the chance to sound as bad as me. The dancing continued and from looking at all the pictures it seems like everyone had a good time. Joe did an awesome job planning the party as well as entertaining us with his outrageous dancing. I had a blast (aside from the public shame). I can't wait for the next time we all get together.