Rookie Mistake

Teenagers are a tough breed. Alec, my 14 year old, was always such an easy child. He was sweet, quiet, thoughtful and affectionate. He was also a very bright and serious child. I remember my first teacher conference with his kindergarten teacher. She suggested that we might tickle and hug him more. Joe and I sat in those tiny chairs with our jaws dropped and just blinked a few times. She is kidding, right? We both kind of chuckled uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. I think my response was finally "Well, if we tickled or hugged him more I think we could get in trouble." haha

The truth was that he thought too much. He thought about things children normally never consider. One time when he was around 9 we came upon an accident on the road. A man on a motorcycle had crashed and we were the ones who discovered the scene. The kids didn't see anything really, just the man's feet propped up on the guardrail. But Alec got very sad and wondered what would become of the man's family. How would they feel when they found out they had lost their father or husband. These are very profound feelings for an 9 year old. Kyle, who was 6, thought it was cool to see a dead guy. Not sure which one I should worry about more.

So now Alec is a teenager. I guess I was crazy to think that my sweet boy would retain these positive traits into his teen years. It may even be that these traits are still there but have somehow morphed into a dark force. His sensitivity is now what makes him sullen and moody. He came home from school the other day clearly in a foul mood. He would not talk about it no matter how much I coaxed. I am still learning how to parent a teen, and I made a rookie mistake. Instead of leaving him alone, I decided to poke the tiger. At the time I though humor might lighten the mood. I commented on how the way he was wearing his hair looked like Dwight Shrute from The Office. Apparently he had been hearing that all day and that was the reason for his mood. Ooops. How was I supposed to know?

I told him to wake me up the next morning and I would use the blow dryer to get rid of those curls. So the next morning he woke me bright and early to let me help with his hair. I straightened out the bothersome curls and he looked cute. Honest. I went back to bed and he went downstairs and wet his hair. Now I realize that when I was a teenager and my mother told me that I wore too much makeup and I insisted I looked good, maybe I should have listened to her. Is it possible that our parents actually had our best interest in mind?