When one door closes another one shall open is just a saying. It happens to have obvious connotations because in life things are always changing. That is one sure thing. Sometimes we look forward to changes, such as dealing with a difficult family situation. We keep telling ourselves that this too shall pass, and pray for it to happen quickly. Sometimes we are afraid of changes, such as losing a job you love and facing a crappy economy to find a new one.
Recently, I lost my job of eleven years that I had grown to love. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, since the hints of the possibility have been creeping up for years. Rumblings of Borders being less than stable turned to more concrete evidence as they closed some stores and tried to reorganize. I chose to be oblivious to the obvious and was certain the fate of my beloved store would be somehow miraculous. I even went on vacation, the first one without kids in 13 years. I knew the week I was gone was pivotal in the story of Borders, but really thought it was going to be a different ending. I came home from sunny California to my cafe closed. Gone. Forever. My customers, who I thought of as way more than customers, were now just people I would never see again.
The cafe that I thought of as my own was now being pilfered off to the highest bidder. Piece by piece I watched my life change and my future questioned. I know that it sounds like I am being dramatic, I am. I mean if you know me, I do tend toward the dramatic. But even though this job was "only part time", and the money was certainly not good, it defined a big part of my life. I was lucky to be allowed to work the hours that worked for me. When the kids were little, I worked a few nights so I could be home with them during the day. Then, when they were in school all day, I switched to days so I could be home at night with them. I didn't have to work weekends and they were flexible during the summer. I could go on and on about why I love this job, but I won't. I know I am not the only person who has made incredible friends through work. We were like a family.
So, as I stood at the register during the painful process of liquidation, it didn't escape me that all around me doors were opening. Hadn't I been thinking it was time to be a big girl and get a "real" job? Hadn't I been dreaming of opening my own business? It would seem that this is one of those cases that serendipity steps in. Why is it then, that I have no idea what direction to turn? I have so many ideas of what I want to do, but they conflict with the reality of what I should be doing, which also conflicts with the reality of the economy that may play the biggest role of all in this equation.
Do I follow my dream of opening a food truck where I can serve soup and sandwiches and fancy coffee drinks and sweets? Do I take the financial risk and do what I love? I know there are success stories about people who do this, but what about the people who risk it all and end in ruin? Do I look for a full time job that I most likely will not love, but provide a more stable financial future for my family? What would the kids do during the summer while I am at work? Do I continue on the path I have been following and hope to find a part time job that is as flexible as Borders?
Right now, I am in this juggling act with all of these possibilities floating around me and I am waiting to see which one makes the most sense. Let me know your ideas, how did you decide on your current path? If you had the choice, would you be doing what you are doing right now?
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